חשבתי לא פעם ביקור בהוואנה וזה בא 2 קרוב תהליך היעד לשעבר דיון עם חבר טוב לפני כמה שנים (היה צורך pipped בעמדה של הודו). When an email dropped into my inbox informing me of a ten day writing course with Steven Berkoff that happened to slot nicely into a period of leave I stopped being indecisive about where to go for my next adventure and booked flights.
לא חברותי תמיד ואחד בדרך כלל להתרחק מאותם חוגים חשש, מובלים מסביב הולך על היום שלי המצומצם הזה עם אנשים שאינם לפי בחירתי, זה לא מסוג הדברים שאני בדרך כלל ללכת על (לפחות לא במהלך חופשה). Furthermore I had never previously felt the need to be assisted by a writing course but was curious to meet the maestro in such a ravishing setting. So I signed up for the curriculum at the iconic Habana Libre hotel (התפוסה אחד שילם במלואו את כמובן) וסידר הרפתקה הכפרי הבודד שלי Valle de Vinales סביבו.
בלילה הייתי "להצטרף" אל groupo חיכיתי סביב בוהק לובי השיש הרחב, half heartedly jollied along by a pina colada. The air conditioned space was fine, אני אוהב את האנונימיות המפתה של לובי המלון, אבל אני לא ממש מצפה לפגוש "אותם", את האחרים, at all. I was actually to make a few good new friends out of it all as is often the case but at that moment I was waiting reluctantly to be associated with the rest of the herd.
הסתובבתי באזור המיועד של הלובי הצביע לי על ידי פקידת קבלה, until what appeared initially to be a wishy washy group of mainly women began assembling in the lobby and I was offered a wishy washy undrinkable mojito in a plastic cup. I hovered around behind the unpunctual crew, eager just to obtain some basic details without having to linger too much and then to go off for dinner. The ensemble were somewhat delayed as they had had to wait in the airport for someone who didnt turn up. This whole group dynamic of waiting around for people is particularly tedious, especially if they dont turn up. Maybe this particular anonymous would be writer didnt even want to enter the country when in full possession of the news I was about to receive.
אני כבר קרוב במיוחד בלילה הראשון של המסעדה מיועדת לארוחת ערב (Trattoria של Maraka על Calle 0 בין קייס 23 ו - 25, רק סביב הבלוק) שאין לו עניין או סבלנות מליטה האוכל "הו איפה שנראה הולך?’ just yet. A reluctant loiterer in the background, מוכן בכל רגע את המדרון, נשאלתי אם אני מי אני ומסר לוח זמנים לרקוד סלסה אשר לא ספק כמו הסבלנות שלי הגיעה גבולות, יש רק שאלות לא רלוונטיות כל כך הרבה התייחס לקבוצה כל אחד יכול לסבול. Its extremely tedious when some people think it’s necessary for a whole group of strangers to listen to the ponderous answers of a non native to “Is it safe?, ‘can you drink the water?’ and ‘how can my husband contact me?.
מחכה למעלית, איש קטן עכברי שאל אותי 'אתה אחד שלי?", זה חרה באופן מיידי, אבל לא רוצה לרדת ברגל רע עצרתי את עצמי בדרישה "אחד מה שלך?"והשיב באופן מעקם חוטם שאני כאן כמובן בכתב כי קיבלתי לוח זמנים לרקוד סלסה. The small Antipodean’s rather disconcerting reply was ‘Its probably about the same but we dont know what time George wants to start’ to which I replied ‘who’s George?"
"מורה"
"אני חושב שהמורה היה סטיבן Berkoff''
‘ אה.. אתה לא קיבלת את הודעת הדוא"ל… הוא לא הצליח להגיע "
"לא הייתי Vinales לכמה ימים ו havent בדק הדוא"ל שלי…"
Three days before the start date of the course wouldnt really have been a great time to reschedule in any case. This really wasnt what I had wanted to hear.
ג'ורג', ג'ורג', ג'ורג'. George started the first session in his suite, he kept referring to his room with an adjoining room as his suite as if he hadnt been out much before. Im pretty sure he hadnt been out much before. He was wearing some sort of a kimono and kept telling us all about his recent milestone birthday and his engagement. He started his first tutorial (מספרים מדולדל כבר על ידי כמה חברים שערקו להצטרף קורס סלסה במקביל) by asking us to add another descriptive word to out given names. He kicked the whole thing off with Gorgeous George. This kind of thing is what makes group ‘activities’ detestable. So we had Sassy Sue and Mellifluous Mel and Kindly Kate and Amazing Ailon and all sorts of silly rubbish which would have been unbefitting of the august Mr Berkoff. We were prompted to write and perform a bit and some of it was great fun. The emphasis was on the acting out of what we had written, George being a stage actor and a thespian. I’d never heard of George. More people were to defect to salsa.
George had an obsession with Edgar Allan Poe and in particular with his narrative poem the Raven. During one hilarious reading of which a cleaner burst into to room with a hoover just as him was shrieking, ravenesesque "Nevermore"!
ואת רשרוש משי בטוח עצוב מסך כל סגול
ריגש אותי – מילא אותי אימי פנטסטי אף פעם לא הרגשתי לפני;
כך שכעת, להלמות הלב שלי עדיין, עמדתי לחזור
'אז זהו חלק הכניסה מפציר המבקר בדלת החדר שלי –
כמה מבקרים מאוחר והפציר הכניסה בדלת החדר שלי; –
זה זה, ותו לא,’
George often had visitors at his chamber door and held court out of hours. He was insecure and in need of reassurance often repeating tiresome personal details that were of no interest and made one long to be out of his suite and by the pool. He built up a small fan base of which he slept with at least one, מרגיז אחרים במארז זה של הנשים (יותר גברים זה נראה העדיפו את סלסה). He had exclusive dinners to which not all of the group were invited. It was obviously an all expenses paid trip but it transpired he was losing out because he was an out of work actor on the dole and couldnt claim benefits for a week.
בהוואנה היה נפלא למרות העדר משיכה גדול, our original intended mentor. The disgruntled ones along with all the others were offered a free weekend of coaching with Steven Berkoff (מי היו התחייבויות חוזיות) על האי של לבן ואלה כיף הטובים ביותר הלכו יחד והוא שימש מפגש נפלא. Hours were spent in elegant high ceilinged rooms and ye olde pubs with the mesmerising and formidable thespian and captivating raconteur.
11 מחשבות על "הוואנה חוץ: הנעדר מר Berkoff ונהדר ג'ורג'”
השאירו תגובה
אתר זה משתמש Akismet להפחית זבל. למד כיצד נתוני תגובתך מעובד.
As you might know, more for logistic reasons, than for the need to be shepherded, I often meddle myself with the social inconvenience of group tourism..
Reaching far and forgotten lands, without a very minutious planning, and a large availability of a precious commodity such as lots of spare time, would be quite taxing for someone that can take only a couple of weeks off work at the time, to explore such a big planet..
And, since Charley Boorman i am not, nor I have Gervais and Merchant to take care of the bookings, the most convenient way for me to see exotic places, has been to join what they call “adventure tours”..
even then, i am afraid, one cannot expect always to find streetwise ex SAS to be one’s travel companions, but given the very small size of the group, and the high level of freedom involved, one can cope with the omnipresent “never been further away than Ibiza” person..
no, actually that wouldn’t be too bad after all, there could be worse, I am sure you get the picture.. anyway, i have a sure method to sort out the people, and avoid excessive interactions with the unworthy ones..
at the pretour meeting, where everyone asks if it is safe to flush the toilet paper down the bog, or if bottled water tastes more refreshing with a local ice cube in it, the line i often use to introduce myself to the group is:
“Hello, my name is Emily, i have been using since i was twelve..”
.. Trust me, it always works..
Pleasure Pier
Ha ha ha! Thanks Emily! Thats a very good idea. I get your point about the adventure tours, they are good if you have a short amount of time to cram lots of places into. I used to be able to go away for four or five weeks at a time but unfortunately in my present situation that isnt possible, then (and still now to some degree) I plan the whole thing logistically at home, not always possible I know
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I love Havana! And this trip sounded like great fun…
good read
You met Steven Berkoff? What was he like? Was he intimidating?
He was charming and a great raconteur!
Many thanks.