Havana wahân: Mae'r Absennol Mr Berkoff a Gorgeous George

Havan Skyline

Rwy'n aml wedi meddwl am ymweld Havana ac roedd wedi dod yn ail agos mewn proses ystyriaeth gyrchfan erstwhile gyda ffrind da ychydig flynyddoedd yn ôl (ar ôl cael ei o fewn trwch blewyn gan India). Pan gollwng e-bost i mewn i fy mewnflwch yn fy hysbysu o gwrs ysgrifennu deg diwrnod gyda Steven Berkoff a ddigwyddodd i slotio 'n glws i mewn i gyfnod o absenoldeb Rhoddais y gorau bod amhendant am ble i fynd i gael fy antur nesaf a hedfan harchebu.

Habana Libra Lobby

Nid yw bob amser yn heidiol ac fel arfer un i shun rhai gweithgareddau grŵp bondigrybwyll, cael ei gyrru o gwmpas ac yn mynd am fy niwrnod mewn cyfyngiadau agos â phobl nad ydynt yn fy dewis, mae hyn doedd hi dim y math o beth byddwn i'n arfer yn mynd am (o leiaf nid tra ar wyliau). Ar ben hynny yr wyf erioed wedi teimlo o'r blaen yr angen i gael ei gynorthwyo gan gwrs ysgrifennu ond roedd yn chwilfrydig i gwrdd â'r maestro mewn lleoliad mor ravishing. Felly yr wyf yn cofrestru ar gyfer y cwricwlwm yn y gwesty eiconig Habana Libre (deiliadaeth sengl talu'n llawn wrth gwrs) ac yn trefnu fy antur cefn gwlad unigol i Valle de Vinales o'i gwmpas.

model

Ar y noson roeddwn yn i 'ymuno' Groupo el i mi aros o gwmpas yn y lobi pelydru a capacious marmor, hanner heartedly jollied ynghyd gan colada pina. Mae'r gofod gyflyru aer yn iawn, Rwyf wrth fy modd y anhysbysrwydd seductive o cynteddau gwesty ond fi oedd wir yn edrych ymlaen at gyfarfod 'nhw', y lleill, o gwbl. Roeddwn yn mewn gwirionedd yn gwneud ychydig o ffrindiau newydd da allan ohono i gyd fel sy'n digwydd yn aml, ond ar y hyn o bryd oeddwn yn aros yn anfoddog i fod yn gysylltiedig â gweddill y fuches.

Yr wyf yn hongian o gwmpas yn yr ardal ddynodedig y lobi sylw at y ffaith i mi gan y derbynnydd, hyd nes yr hyn a ymddangosodd yn wreiddiol i fod Dechreuodd grŵp washy wishy o fenywod yn bennaf cydosod yn y lobi ac cefais gynnig Mojito undrinkable washy wishy mewn cwpan plastig. Yr wyf yn hofran o gwmpas y tu ôl i'r criw unpunctual, awyddus dim ond i gael rhai manylion sylfaenol heb orfod lechu gormod ac yna'n mynd i ffwrdd ar gyfer cinio. Mae'r ensemble yn braidd yn hwyr gan eu bod wedi gorfod aros yn y maes awyr i rywun sydd did not troi i fyny. Mae hyn yn ddeinamig grŵp cyfan o aros o gwmpas am bobl yn arbennig o ddiflas, yn enwedig os ydynt dont troi i fyny. Efallai byddai hyn yn ddienw penodol fod did not awdur hyd yn oed yn awyddus i fynd i mewn i'r wlad pan oeddwn ar fin gael mewn meddiant llawn o'r newyddion.

Che t shirts

Rwyf eisoes wedi cael noson agos cyntaf penodol drwy fwyty a glustnodwyd ar gyfer cinio (Stampiau Trattoria ar Calle 0 rhwng Calles 23 a 25, rownd y bloc) heb unrhyw ddiddordeb neu amynedd ar gyfer bondio a bwyta a'r 'o, lle y bydd i ni yn mynd?'Eto. Mae loiterer amharod yn y cefndir, yn barod i llethr oddi ar unrhyw adeg, Roeddwn yn gofyn a oeddwn pwy oeddwn a rhoi amserlen ar gyfer dawnsio salsa yr wyf did not gwestiwn fel fy amynedd wedi cyrraedd ei derfynau, dim ond cymaint o gwestiynau amherthnasol cyfeirio at y grŵp cyfan gall un ddioddef. Mae ei hynod o ddiflas pan fydd rhai pobl yn meddwl ei bod yn angenrheidiol ar gyfer grŵp cyfan o bobl ddieithr i wrando ar yr atebion trwm o heb fod yn frodorol i "A yw'n ddiogel?, 'Y gallwch ei yfed y dŵr?’ a 'sut y gall fy ngŵr gysylltu â mi?.

Piscina

Aros am y lifft, gofynnodd dyn mousey bach fi 'wyt ti yn un o fy?', mae hyn rankled yn syth, ond ddim eisiau i ddod oddi ar y droed drwg i mi stopio fy hun rhag heriol 'un o'ch yr hyn?'Ac atebodd mewn modd sniffy mai fi oedd yma ar gyfer y cwrs ysgrifennu a fy mod wedi cael amserlen ar gyfer dawnsio salsa. Roedd ymateb braidd disconcerting y Antipodean bach yn 'Ei mae'n debyg tua'r un ond rydym dont adnabod beth amser George am ddechrau' ac atebais 'pwy yw George?'

'Mae'r tiwtor'

'Roeddwn i'n meddwl y tiwtor yn Steven Berkoff' '

‘ A.. byddwch did not eich bod yn cael yr e-bost… nid oedd yn gallu dod '

'Na Roeddwn i yn Vinales am ychydig ddyddiau ac yn gwirio havent fy e-bost…'

Tri diwrnod cyn dyddiad cychwyn y cwrs wouldnt 'n sylweddol wedi bod yn amser gwych i aildrefnu mewn unrhyw achos. Mae hyn yn wir yn doedd hi dim yr hyn yr wyf wedi bod eisiau i glywed.

Pink car

George, George, George. Dechreuodd George y sesiwn gyntaf yn ei gyfres, cadwodd gyfeirio at ei ystafell gyda ystafell gyfagos fel ei ystafell fel pe bai hadnt bod allan o lawer o'r blaen. Im 'n bert yn siwr ei fod yn hadnt bod allan o lawer o'r blaen. He was wearing some sort of a kimono and kept telling us all about his recent milestone birthday and his engagement. He started his first tutorial (numbers already depleted by several members who had defected join a concurrent salsa course) by asking us to add another descriptive word to out given names. He kicked the whole thing off with Gorgeous George. This kind of thing is what makes group ‘activities’ detestable. So we had Sassy Sue and Mellifluous Mel and Kindly Kate and Amazing Ailon and all sorts of silly rubbish which would have been unbefitting of the august Mr Berkoff. We were prompted to write and perform a bit and some of it was great fun. The emphasis was on the acting out of what we had written, George being a stage actor and a thespian. I’d never heard of George. More people were to defect to salsa.

George had an obsession with Edgar Allan Poe and in particular with his narrative poem the Raven. During one hilarious reading of which a cleaner burst into to room with a hoover just as him was shrieking, ravenesesque ‘Nevermore’!

 

And the silken sad uncertain rustling of each purple curtain
Thrilled me – filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;
So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating
`’Tis some visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door –
Some late visitor entreating entrance at my chamber door; –
This it is, and nothing more,’

George often had visitors at his chamber door and held court out of hours. He was insecure and in need of reassurance often repeating tiresome personal details that were of no interest and made one long to be out of his suite and by the pool. He built up a small fan base of which he slept with at least one, upsetting others in this pack of women (more men it seemed prefered to salsa). He had exclusive dinners to which not all of the group were invited. It was obviously an all expenses paid trip but it transpired he was losing out because he was an out of work actor on the dole and couldnt claim benefits for a week.

 

Havana was wonderful in spite of the absence of the big draw, our original intended mentor. The disgruntled ones along with all the others were offered a free weekend of coaching with Steven Berkoff (who had had contractual obligations) on The Isle of White and the best fun ones went along and it served as a marvellous reunion. Hours were spent in elegant high ceilinged rooms and ye olde pubs with the mesmerising and formidable thespian and captivating raconteur.

IOW


11 meddyliau ar "Havana wahân: Mae'r Absennol Mr Berkoff a Gorgeous George

  1. As you might know, more for logistic reasons, than for the need to be shepherded, I often meddle myself with the social inconvenience of group tourism..
    Reaching far and forgotten lands, without a very minutious planning, and a large availability of a precious commodity such as lots of spare time, would be quite taxing for someone that can take only a couple of weeks off work at the time, to explore such a big planet..
    A, since Charley Boorman i am not, nor I have Gervais and Merchant to take care of the bookings, the most convenient way for me to see exotic places, has been to join what they call “adventure tours”..
    even then, i am afraid, one cannot expect always to find streetwise ex SAS to be one’s travel companions, but given the very small size of the group, and the high level of freedom involved, one can cope with the omnipresent “never been further away than Ibiza” person..
    no, actually that wouldn’t be too bad after all, there could be worse, I am sure you get the picture.. anyway, i have a sure method to sort out the people, and avoid excessive interactions with the unworthy ones..
    at the pretour meeting, where everyone asks if it is safe to flush the toilet paper down the bog, or if bottled water tastes more refreshing with a local ice cube in it, the line i often use to introduce myself to the group is:
    “Hello, my name is Emily, i have been using since i was twelve..”

    .. Trust me, it always works..

    Pleasure Pier

    • Ha ha ha! Thanks Emily! Thats a very good idea. I get your point about the adventure tours, they are good if you have a short amount of time to cram lots of places into. I used to be able to go away for four or five weeks at a time but unfortunately in my present situation that isnt possible, then (and still now to some degree) I plan the whole thing logistically at home, not always possible I know

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